milaya devochka

NEW BLOG

2003-10-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

If anyone reads this page anymore... then you can go to the following link

http://suzy.antville.org/

Which is where I will be posting from now on.

To do list

2003-09-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

1. sleep
2. wake up
3. go to work
4. take diagnostic exam
5. study
6. sleep

7. sometime this week do laundry
8. return books to library

And so it was that the green bubbles from lava lamp consumed me.

*Finished reading "Cry of the Peacock" - Gina B. Nahai

9. Finish reading "Funny in Farsi" - Firoozeh Dumas; & continue reading "From Beirut to Jerusalem" - Thomas L. Friedman

10. I'm going to move to Mendoza, Argentina and have my own winery... sometime after I get paid so I am able to buy the plane ticket.

*

2003-05-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

once upon a time ... i wish i could escape into my imagination at this moment.. but the pain is to strong. I am unable to ignore it.. no matter how hard I try. :(

2003-05-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

Society makes men and women believe that they are incompatible, men are from mars and women are from Venus. The way we look at the world and the way we think about ideas. However, in regards to love and being loved the goal is one and the same. They had the same agenda the only difference between men and women in this respect is the strategy they choose to get to the desired goal. The only thing that any human being desires is to be surrounded and absorbed in their entirety by love. Males realize their goal through physical contact and physical intimacy, to submerge themselves in the female body, to feel the sweet caress of her skin rubbing against their own. For a female, the goal is to know everything about the loved one, to decipher every single detail, to discover not only their body but also their mind, to swim inside their every thought, to conquer every facet. Both seek to make one out of two.

*Translation from Lilia's news post. Please forgive the differences but translating word for word is not easy -- I did the best I could.

For spanish post refer to this site:

http://babablacksheep.blogspot.com/

2003-05-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

Today as I was walking out the store my eyes fell upon the a very small baby with big blue eyes and soft blonde hair. Her face was red as if she had been blushing... but then I thought why would a child that small who is unable to talk be blushing in such a manner? I wonder what she was thinking... pondering why there were so many strange things in such a large place. Wondering why her mother was taking so long chating with someone else instead of taking her in her arms and playing and talking to her? Maybe she was just looking at the big red door intrigued by such a bright color... maybe that little baby's mind was blank. Perhaps i should stop thinking too... maybe we are all better off that way. Is thinking just a big waste of time? It is when that is the only thing you do... maybe we should do something else, maybe take action, set things in order, maybe i should just stop typing while I'm ahead.

2003-05-02T00:51:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't even be contemplating life at this moment in time since I have so many other things to worry about like school.

I guess I will give someone else the chance to sneak into my heart and help me discover new things about me that I did not know existed. Becuase I think in the end that is what it is all about. Discovering ourselves through others.

They finally cleaned the pool, I have been going swimming for the past three days, I can feel it in my stomach, and my arms. The downside is that I am getting really tanned and I don't like it.

Until next time I write I will sing along to this song:

Jason Mraz "Remedy" -- "When I fall in love I take my time, because there is no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind... "

2003-04-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

"I like my men like I like my cars: fast, foreign, and expensive." -(Masha) -- i.e. my precious sis

2003-04-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you had a deep thought? Does it matter that they surround you? Does it matter that the thought or feeling of impending doom feals so close that it appears to be breathing down your neck? Does it matter that you try to escape your own thoughts with humor, jokes, or pensaments that to any normal being would appear silly at least and ridiculous at most? Does anything matter?

2003-04-04T23:31:00.000-08:00

You are blue. You are somewhat innocent, in the fact that your genius only extends to the physical world. You have a false sense of contentness. You are usually the quiet one, the genius. Everyone can count on you to help when they have problems, but you only fall short of being able to solve your own.

What inner color are you?

2003-03-30T16:30:00.000-08:00

It is exactly 4:25pm PST, the sun is shining brightly, there is no question that spring has arrived. I have the urge to go swimming, but I have lots of homework to do and have officially run out of reasons not to do it. I was reading all about rape at the moment - and the elements necessary to prosecute a perpetrator who dares commit such a horrendous act. I am currently looking at my wallet and thinking about snacking on a cookie, unfortunately I have no cookies in the kitchen. On my desk there is a bottle of Chianti wine, happy Italians, now if I only had someone to share it with. I think I will become an alcoholic, wait are there any prerequisites for that? Whatever, just a joke, I don't think I could become an alcohlic if I tried.... in the meantime I will continue to think positive thoughts and look out my window, and hope for better days.

2003-03-28T11:09:00.000-08:00

This is for those who experience occasional computer problems. Enjoy and let me know if it works!

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and the NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but it’s not available anymore.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. At the command line, try entering C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and download Tears 6.2 to stall Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Flowers 3.5 and Jewelry 2.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0, Marijuana 4.2 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files and Marijuana 4.2 will create a memoryloss. When Beer 6.1 and Marijuana 4.2 are run simultaneously, the result is Prostitute 69.0. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or re-install another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 6.9 and OralSex 24.7.

Good luck,

Tech Support

2003-03-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

P.S. read from the bottom up ....

Mar26, 1:49, You said:
Um Damien I am not going to argue with you about Israel - it has a right to exist, and if the arab nations have a problem with it --- well screw them... it is true that the palestinians should have a state too -- but they will get no where through violent means --- as for me my darling I am going to bed - BUt I am more than willing to discuss this at a later date if u are up for it:) I am going to bed now --- please contact me soon and we can discuss international politics ok:)
Mar26, 1:47, CASIN said:
Who build Israel? Americans no? Who are you to build a Jews States in the middle of musulmans States? It's like if I put an iraqian in your house to leave with you without ask you the permission.
Mar26, 1:42, You said:
Yes i know terrorism is a threat - but terrorism will be a threat for a long time - and despite ur opinion -- iraq did pose a danger to his own people, to israel, to the US -- it has weapons of mass destruction -- it has used biochemical weapons against the kurds and can used them against others -- if not facilitate them to terrorist groups ---
Mar26, 1:39, CASIN said:
Sadam hussein. Why they didn't kill him during the war in 1991. It was just to control him and what they wanted with him until now. Do you know that this war could take a very bad. USA took the decision to go in Iraq without the agreement of the ONU. Now in Europe, except england, evrey hate american. In France, now when there is strikes against the war people breaks the Mac Donalds. And it's really warts in Africa or in Asia. You will win the war but after be careful about terorism
Mar26, 1:33, You said:
Um interesting point of view Damien, I could respect it i suppose. Although if you are aware of the percentage of oil obtained from Iraqu you would understand that oil is not the issue -- the US obtains about 7 % of it oil from that country -- it is not going to take it over - -- once the sick fuck Saddam is gone they can do whatever they want with their oil (they -i.e. the iraqui people... Putain de merde ewww not nice = puta de mierda (spanish translation) -- No one really cares about Iran --
Mar26, 1:28, CASIN said:
Ok je pense que votre gouvernement est une putain de merde. La campagne de Bush a ete soutenue par des compagnies petrolieres. Donc maintenant qu'est-ce qu'ils veulent c'est le petrole, pour controler le monde car c'est l'or de demain. Ils ont deja construit les plus grands piplines du monde en Afghanistan. Maintenant, ils veulent l'Iraq et apres, ils parlent deja d'aller en Iran. En plus de cela, des compagines americaines ont deja signees des contrats de construction en Iraq avant meme que la
Mar26, 1:21, You said:
Si Damien me encantaria saber que es lo que piensas -- um oui, donnez moi votre opinion... :)
Mar26, 1:20, CASIN said:
Do you really hear my opinion?
Mar26, 1:19, You said:
Thank u Damien you appear to be a very intelligent young man. So what do u think about ur country's position on the war on Iraq - and Chirac's inability to suppor the US in this ordeal?

2003-03-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

You know that sick feeling u get when u feel the world crashing above u -- yeah the one where the only thing that pops into ur mind is how badly ur fucked -- yeah not in the literal sense of course -- god forbid! But, the one where u get when u procrastinate and then everything comes back to haunt u and u think why -- didn't I do this before. OH well the world goes on I suppose now I must return to work. Good day to all!

2003-03-15T19:01:00.000-08:00

KevDady (4:50:32 PM): education=knowledge

Auto response from Milaya29 (4:50:32 PM): "Wit is educated insolence."
-Aristotle

He had u figured out a long time before u were born. If u have anything to add or for some strange reason believe that this does not apply to u, then say so. Leave a message -- and I will later contact u and tell u why ur wrong.

KevDady (4:50:40 PM): knowledge is power
KevDady (4:50:42 PM): :-)
KevDady (4:50:53 PM): or some would see it like that
Milaya29 (4:51:28 PM): only for those who actually have a brain and an active mind -- only for those who ask questions constantly
Milaya29 (4:51:39 PM): not for those who say have obtained an education
Milaya29 (4:51:46 PM): read the books they were given
Milaya29 (4:51:54 PM): and never had or thought about the material
Milaya29 (4:52:01 PM): or made any questions ;-)
KevDady (4:52:35 PM): I think its only when u understand a concept....
KevDady (4:52:43 PM): that you have been educated...
KevDady (4:53:03 PM): but the manipulation and excution of said concepts....
KevDady (4:53:09 PM): is where you get knowledge
KevDady (4:53:13 PM): O:-)
Milaya29 (4:53:23 PM): I like ur answer
Milaya29 (4:54:09 PM): do u think that u have the ability to manipulate and execute said concept
Milaya29 (4:54:30 PM): or do u just have the understanding to offer such an explanation of the possible definition of knowledge?
KevDady (4:54:50 PM): I know
KevDady (4:54:51 PM): hehe
KevDady (4:55:06 PM): thats all I can say about anything "I know"
KevDady (4:55:17 PM): but I do understand alot
Milaya29 (4:55:17 PM): but if that is all u can say
Milaya29 (4:55:21 PM): then u don't know
KevDady (4:55:24 PM): yeah I do
Milaya29 (4:55:25 PM): u must prove what u know
Milaya29 (4:55:29 PM): not just say that u do
Milaya29 (4:55:31 PM): lol
KevDady (4:57:03 PM): see thats where knowledge cant be put in the context of a math equation
KevDady (4:57:15 PM): just cause u get something right, doesnt mean u know
Milaya29 (4:57:17 PM): u must have the ability to back it up with evidence -- if u are unable to do so then it is better for u to say that u don't know -- be humble and accept ur ignorance -- because then and only then do u prove to others that u know -- and that u have the ability of learning -- because u accept that u are ignorant on the most part and are able and willing to learn
Milaya29 (4:57:30 PM): yes i suppose
KevDady (4:58:04 PM): but I'm that one guy that knows everything
KevDady (4:58:14 PM): it isnt the butler from askjeeves.com...
KevDady (4:58:15 PM): its me
KevDady (4:58:17 PM): ;-)
KevDady (4:58:18 PM): heheh
Milaya29 (4:58:24 PM): with such a statement u only prove that u have a big ego
Milaya29 (4:58:35 PM): that u are a smart ass punk who knows nothing
Milaya29 (4:58:38 PM): lol
Milaya29 (4:59:02 PM): :-D
KevDady (5:00:24 PM): see
KevDady (5:00:35 PM): you messed up by using the word ego...
Milaya29 (5:00:39 PM): lol
Milaya29 (5:00:43 PM): did i
Milaya29 (5:00:46 PM): who is that?>
KevDady (5:00:52 PM): thats the world of psychology...
KevDady (5:00:56 PM): :-)
Milaya29 (5:00:57 PM): do u think u have the ability to explian
Milaya29 (5:00:58 PM): lol
KevDady (5:01:12 PM): I do, but I'm not going to explain myself
Milaya29 (5:01:21 PM): Oh i see -- but I would be lying cause I don't -- my glasses are being fixed at the moment
Milaya29 (5:01:32 PM): don't explain -- fine
Milaya29 (5:01:35 PM): but remember
Milaya29 (5:01:45 PM): that u are missing an opportunity
Milaya29 (5:02:00 PM): because when u have knowledge and the ignorant come to u and ask u
Milaya29 (5:02:06 PM): please Kevin -- enlighten me
Milaya29 (5:02:08 PM): and u refuse
KevDady (5:02:18 PM): I'm a tutor at school
Milaya29 (5:02:19 PM): u only prove that u are a bad human being
KevDady (5:02:21 PM): I do it all the time
KevDady (5:02:22 PM): hehe
Milaya29 (5:02:24 PM): who is unable to share
KevDady (5:02:25 PM): Im not bad
Milaya29 (5:02:32 PM): and hold another by the hand
Milaya29 (5:02:38 PM): and lead them out of the cave
Milaya29 (5:02:51 PM): of darkness and ignorance in which they find themselves
KevDady (5:03:01 PM): if it isnt broken....
KevDady (5:03:11 PM): (can u fill that in correctly?)
Milaya29 (5:03:17 PM): i can
KevDady (5:03:21 PM): (I'll feed u later)
Milaya29 (5:03:24 PM): but how does one determine it is not broken
Milaya29 (5:03:30 PM): lol
KevDady (5:03:33 PM): (prove me that u know that saying)
Milaya29 (5:03:50 PM): I am unable to prove anything
Milaya29 (5:03:58 PM): I am an ignorant fool --
Milaya29 (5:03:59 PM): lol
Milaya29 (5:04:08 PM): foolish girl on the other side of the monitor
Milaya29 (5:04:13 PM): typing out nonsense
Milaya29 (5:04:16 PM): to confuse u
Milaya29 (5:04:17 PM): lol
KevDady (5:04:24 PM): Im never confused
KevDady (5:04:40 PM): you'll find that proven cause of my hidden middle name
KevDady (5:04:48 PM): but let me fill it in for u...
KevDady (5:05:02 PM): If it aint broke....
KevDady (5:05:07 PM): Dont Break it
Milaya29 (5:05:10 PM): ah
Milaya29 (5:05:19 PM): I thought it was ... don't fix it
Milaya29 (5:05:19 PM): lol
KevDady (5:05:23 PM): I'm not saying dont fix it...
KevDady (5:05:27 PM): cause thats different
Milaya29 (5:05:34 PM): then what are u saying Kevin
Milaya29 (5:05:36 PM): u lil monster
KevDady (5:05:37 PM): philos. speaking
Milaya29 (5:05:40 PM): yes
KevDady (5:05:50 PM): think of both of those saying....
KevDady (5:06:24 PM): Get back to me when u see the difference
If it aint broke...dont fix it
If it aint broke...Dont Break it
KevDady (5:06:28 PM): L8s
Milaya29 (5:06:37 PM): Oh Kevin

2003-03-10T13:55:00.000-08:00

Do u ever question or think about how other people perceive u? Well i did and I asked a few people about what they thought of me. The following are a few opinions... Milaya Devochka according to guys...

"Smart, witty, fairly attractive ;-), but very timid while being horribly depraved.hehe...
Haha...so you're a prudish closet nympho. Granted, I think you'd be a blast in the sack...it's just a question of getting you in there. HA." -JJ Shuba

"nice, innocent, and a prude." -- Robin

"I would describe you as a girl with good intentions, makin her way thru as anyone else. You seem to be smart, and enjoy a good laugh. Very picky with men, asking for something more than the usual girls.
Something more = the most simple. Just somebody who you can rely on.
But you have pretty eyes and a nice hair. You have a nice body. So I don't know how you don't have a relationship.
"You're intelligent, you have knowledge in classics, you know two languages.
I think you have good taste, usually, someone who knows about classic literature and studies laws, has good taste.
Maybe that's why you're so selective with men.
Maybe you're a little... ummmm, naive. Dreaming too much could be your low point. It's ok to dream... we need to dream after all." -Agustin Tsef

"i think that you are a great person,easy to get a long with, conversation was fun, and interesting
you have a nice laugh too :-) well i would say dark skinned, nice black hair, cute, good sense of humor, intelligent, fun.." - Ray

"Cute, patient, but i think over all you are a good person and that is all that counts." Sami

"A good person to chat with, is like an innocent child, is funny, understanding.
I feel that you lonely sometimes, you need too much love, and you deserve it." - Johnathan

-- Yes I can be prudish -- and about the rest lol -- well NO one will see the handcuffs, whips and chains any time soon.... lol kisses to the world.

2003-02-27T01:16:00.000-08:00

Fuck the world! Let me die a happy death.
Did I ever tell you that life sucks, I'm not happy at this moment in my life. I am questioning the decision I have made, I should have gone to grad school. GOTT why why didn't I follow my instincts why... law school is yucky - I don't want to be a blood sucking lawyer .... oh God please save me from the hell that I am living in.... yes I am exagerating... do you freaking have a problem with that? I really hope not. Cause no one is forcing you to read the nonsense I am writing on this stupid page. However, if you have any insight on my suffering please be sure to let me know. I am open to criticism from anyone -- really life could not get any worse than it already is. :(

"The rhythm of her conversation
The perfection of her creation
The sex she slipped into my coffee
The way she felt when she first saw me
Hate to love and love to hate her
Like a broken record player
Back and forth and here and gone
And on and on and on and on" -[The Sun -- Maroon 5]

2003-02-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

Handsome Egyptian...
He told me to call him today but I didn’t. Why? Because I don’t want to bother him, to call at an inappropriate time, because I don’t want to become one of those girls who call to much. Maybe I am going to an extreme by taking this stance, by sending the message that he is in control, that he can call at any time. That he can call whenever it is appropriate or convenient for him to do so, and that I will drop what I am doing for him. I really should not be complicating this, we are just getting to know each other, and I hope this leads somewhere. Maybe I won’t be alone this valentines day, which would be a plus, for now I will take it slow. Hope he is doing ok and that I have made a good impression on him, but from his reaction towards me it appears that I have.

"How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you\'ll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I\'m even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin\' tread the ground I\'m walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You\'ll understand what I mean when I say
There\'s no way we\'re gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it\'s getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it\'s getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You\'ll understand what I mean when I say
There\'s no way we\'re gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it\'s getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it\'s getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it\'s me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold" [Maroon 5 - Harder to breath]

2003-02-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

True or False
It’s Monday, in a few days I have to turn in my research path, I will spend the next few days in the library. If you notice that I haven’t been writing then you should call the local librarian to help me and rescue me from being crushed by a stack of North East Reporters. If I appear to be a different color, other than my usual brown then that means that I have passed on to a better life, away from legal research and its other intricacies.

2003-02-01T16:42:00.000-08:00

Lui

It’s been a long time since I wrote here. I had a dream the other day with someone I never met, but I became very close to. I thought we were friends but time has showed me that I was wrong. I dreamt he was in front of me lying on his back, looking up at me, so I kissed him on the fore head and walked away. I told Joe about it, she said that I was letting go of him, of what he meant to me, letting go of what I hoped would happen. I hope he is doing well where ever he is.

2003-01-25T17:15:00.000-08:00

Moot Court

I have to read for contracts, torts, and criminal law, yes the fun goes on and on. I don’t think I will be able to hide my enthusiasm. I also have to start my research for an appellate brief, the most important assignment of the semester for legal skills. Once we finish with the appellate brief we all have to participate in a competition for moot court, every student will have an opportunity to present their argument in front of a panel of judges. Yeah I think that sounds like a truly scary thing, right now I am not scared, but I am sure I will become more anxious as the date gets closer. Well that is all for now I suppose I will go study or something.

And now I can die a happy death because I am Dawson’s muse of the week. Thanks Dawson, I send lots of kisses to North Carolina.

Check it out at this site: http://www.dawsonspeek.com/

2003-01-22T20:47:00.000-08:00

Dress up

I went to the store the other day and I found the classic little black dress, it was had two layers, the top one was transparent. It did not have regular straps; it had two little straps that tie around the back of the neck. The length went to the knee, the type that should be worn with very tall black heels. I tried it on and found that it exposed half of my back; my hair fell back far enough to cover the straps that tied around my neck. I looked in the mirror and turned around a few times, now I had a black dress, and nowhere to go.

2003-01-22T03:39:00.000-08:00

"All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me..." Matchbox 20 - Unwell

2003-01-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

Well I must admit that the two weeks that I had off were wonderful. I had a wonderful time at home and I only wish that it had been longer. I pondered not writing here anymore because I get tired of routines, the become tiresome, and extremely boring but I’m not quite ready to stop. Last Wednesday a person from my past barged into my life without my permission. It was one of my best friends from high school, a person which shared with me a number of interesting experiences, but like all things end. Why did it end? Because of her, maybe it was mostly because of me? I had avoided a reunion with her for about four years but I finally decided to let myself be seen. So when she asked me to go to the movies and then dinner I said yes. I went to the salon to get a hair cut, I needed a dramatic change; I cut a great deal of my hair. I dressed to impress and departed to the theater with my sister. She hugged me and told me I looked cute, I said the same about her to be polite. After the movie we all went to a bar and had dinner. She had invited an old flame of hers and I expected to see his brother, however he was unable to meet us because of a previous engagement but I did have an opportunity to meet their cousin. I must admit I had a good time; we danced, laughed, and had a few drinks to remember the old days and talk about what our lives were like. However, when we spoke about the future I realized why I had stopped speaking with Kat, she was stuck in the past and she could not free herself from it.

2002-12-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

~~Ouch my tongue!~~

I’ve been home for a few days and I must say that it is absolutely wonderful here. I have been sleeping a lot lately, since I had to catch up on all that old sleep. I had to go to the dentist two days ago and I hated it. I had two cavities, so I closed my eyes in the dentist’s chair, hoping that it would be over soon. When suddenly I felt the pinch from the injection, the anesthesia began to take effect, and my entire mouth felt numb. Then I heard the sound of the drill, I slowly begin to move my tongue to the left side of my mouth. I hate going to the dentist, I always think that her hand might slip and somehow hurt my tongue, but fortunately, after she was done my tongue was still intact.

2002-12-16T01:29:00.000-08:00

Stilettos

I lead a very strange life. My roommate is about seven years older than me and she usually does not bother to communicate. Today she bothered to say hello only to complain that I had more time to study for my exam than she did, only because I have an exam on Thursday, and she has one today. She doesn’t ask how is it going, or do you need any help, or let me give you some advice. Oh no, hell no. Evil woman! Whatever, soon I shall be done with my final exams and I can go home. I really have an urge to party, but before that, I want to buy a pair of stiletto heels. I mean I would look so cute in them, not that I should even be thinking about that at this moment in time, but whatever.

2002-12-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

I hate this!

Life sucks and then you die. Especially when you have a Contracts exam in four days. Dying a slow death of boredom. Yes this is boring like hell and I am about to twitch and die. It is truly sad that I shall die at such a tender age.

2002-12-14T00:17:00.000-08:00

Senate troubles
Senator Lott is an evil evil man. Or is he? Should the American people forgive his indiscretion? Well I suppose the question is whether the people of his state should care about his comments? Implied segregation is better and hurray for racism? Or are the democrats and civlil rights leaders making a big deal out of nothing?

Here is the comment that got Mr. Lott into all this trouble. He commented the following during Strom Thurmond’s 100 birthday party. You know Strom Thurmond (also known as the oldest senator in history aka the Mr. Fossil.

The following are comments made by Senator Lott.

“I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over all these years, either.” (12/5/02) (Strom Thurmond ran in 1948 on a pro-segregationist platform.)

“Racial discrimination does not always violate public policy.” –(1981)

“If racial discrimination in the interest of diversity does not violate public policy, then surely discrimination in the practice of religion is no violation.” (1981)

“This was a mistake of the head or of the mouth, not of the heart.” (12/11/02)

“A poor choice of words conveyed to some the impression that I embraced the discarded policies of the past. Nothing could be further from the truth, and I apologize to anyone who was offended by my statement.” (12/9/02)

Interesting apologies after a past of dubious comments, I really don’t think he is sorry about making the comment. What he is sorry about is that it is threatening his hold on power and that it has been taken so badly by so many people. Although we may never know, since he is the only one with the real answer, and I truly doubt he will disclose that information.

Poor President Bush had to make it clear that he disapproved of the comment in order to try to steer the GOP out of murky waters. However, there is no doubt that this incident will affect the GOP’s attempts to attract Black and other minority voters to the GOP flocks.

“Any suggestion that the segregated past was acceptable or positive is offensive and it is wrong. Recent comments by Senator Lott do not reflect the spirit of our country.” Pres. Bush

I can’t help include Senator Dashle’s quote and ask the same question. What exactly did Mr. Lott mean when he made that statement?
“The question Senator Lott needs to answer is, if he did not mean to endorse segregation what did he mean?” Senate Democratic leader tom Dashle

2002-12-12T01:37:00.000-08:00

~~Déjà vu.~~

I had my first exam today, oh yes as you may have guesses I was extremely excited. Torts, intentional torts, battery, assault, negligence, negligence per se, res ipsa loquitor, and the list goes on and on. Anyway, I had three hours to write the damn exam, two questions (e.g. fact patters), however, each had multiple parts (lucky me).

There were two old people proctoring the exam, I felt like I was back in high school. When we took our Advanced Placement tests we had to go to a mobile home park, were they offered to proctor the exams for the high school? A number of high school students would sit in a room were these people probably play bingo, they would sit around for about four hours answering multiple choice questions about art, history, French, or calculus.

It was déjà vu! The old man would not let us begin the exam until the exact moment when the second hand passed the number twelve. The worst part was when everyone raised their hand suddenly and demanded extra scratch paper- why did they fucking need so much scratch paper? Well because of them, we all had to start the exam ten minutes late. But all went well. I used all three hours, writing the entire time, I must say that I did manage my time well this time. Well now, if I could only survive my contracts exam then all will be well.

It is late and despite the fact that I drank lots and lots of coffee, which was keeping me awake, I believe that my eyes are beginning to close on me.

Denken Über Gott and final exams... lol :) Please God, Dios, Dieu, Gott, enlighten me.

2002-12-08T23:23:00.000-08:00
Consciousness

Ok I’m screwed! Please God this is too much to bear. Why do I do this to myself? Does anyone know? Because I don’t.

“Suffering is the sole origin of consciousness”- Dostoyevsky

Well if this is true, I would truly prefer to be unconscious.

2002-12-07T12:02:00.000-08:00
~~Sleep is precious!~~
It’s Saturday and I must admit that I am panicking now. I have about four days before my first exam. I really want to cry now. I have been sleeping way too much and I can’t find the damn vibrin pills. I could have sworn that I had two left. I slept two hours on Thursday night after I finished my paper, then I woke up and turned it in. I went to the supermarket in search for food, and then I came back, and read some for torts. I told myself I needed to take a nap in order to function correctly since I could no longer keep my eyes open. However, my two-hour nap turned into a whole night thing and I did not wake up until 1am. It was way to early for me so I decided to go back to my precious pillow. Oh, God time is running out. Ok, I suppose I will return to my outline, since jumping out the window seems like a painful alternative at the moment.

2002-12-05T13:24:00.000-08:00
Female God

I have two finals one next week and one the week after that. I will eventually be done with finals sometime before Christmas. I have a ton of work to do, I have to get my outlines together and cram, memorize, and hopefully remember. But I needed to get away from the evil books before I lost my sanity. I was looking through my notes when I found something I wrote down a long time ago. It is a few lines from a movie that I saw sometime in August.

-“All I ever do was to sin in the name of love.”
You won’t leave me will you?

-“No. I believe you.
~~Silently she took the blame.~~

-“It did not occur to him that he should try to relieve her guilt or share the blame. Nor did it occur to her that she had just repeated the mistake of all women since the beginning of time. She had not only forgiven a man his ways but had taken responsibility for them as well. She closed her eyes and said good bye to her female God.”

This just seemed important to me I suppose that is why I wrote it down. You should never let someone take the blame all by themselves. That would be cowardly and cruel, we should be brave an speak up, admit to the mistakes we have committed if we are to live at peace with ourselves for the rest of time.

2002-12-04T14:31:00.000-08:00
How sexy is your name?

You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.

What the hell! What does this thing mean that I'm not romantic? I am as romantic as the next girl damn it. I like flirting too, but I can't stand people who are as shy as I am. The guy needs to have guts to speak up or else nothing is going to happen. Tough luck lol. :)

How sexy is your name?

---------------------------------------

Stole this from joe's site.

What you do is find out what each letter of your name means. Then connect all the meanings and it describes you. If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

A-You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
Z-You're always fighting with someone
U-You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
C-You definitely have a partier side in you; don't be shy to show it.
E-You are a very exciting person.
N-You like to work, but you always want a break.
A-You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.

Wow most of this stuff is true. :)
---------

Now you try. :)

A-You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B-You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C-You definitely have a partier side in you; don't be shy to show it.
D-You have trouble trusting people.
E-You are a very exciting person.
F-Everyone loves you.
G-You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H-You are not judgmental.
I-You have a bad temper sometimes.
J-Jealously
K-You like to try new things.
L-Love is a hard word for you to comprehend.
M-Success comes easily to you.
N-You like to work, but you always want a break.
O-You are very open-minded.
P-You have a lack of understanding people, you only focus on you.
Q-You are a hypocrite.
R-You are a social butterfly.
S-You are very close-minded.
T-You have an attitude, a big one.
U-You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V-You are very verbal.
W-You like your privacy.
X-You never let people tell you what to do.
Y-You cause a lot of trouble.
Z-You're always fighting with someone

2002-11-25T22:53:00.000-08:00
Nothing
I wish I could disappear right now. I feel like I am overwhelmed by all of the work that I have to do before final. Luckily, I will have an opportunity to go home for a few days. When I go home I feel like I find myself, I find my meaning, and I think right now that meaning is just lost to me. I should have gone home a while ago, but I told myself that I was too busy to do that. And I was, but I should have found time, I need something. I need time, inspiration, hope… God knows. I feel like I am loosing my sanity.

2002-11-25T01:06:00.000-08:00
Isabel
I just received a forward from a friend that I hadn’t heard from in a very long time. I decided to e-mail her to see how she has been doing. We were roommates in college for two years, that girl knows me as much as I know her. Sometimes I miss the conversations we used to have about sex, guys, and all of those topics that girls discuss in the wee hours of the night. Hope I hear from her soon.

2002-11-24T03:21:00.000-08:00

Damn it!
I can't sleep!!!! I think I am going to cry now. :(

"It's hot as hell, honey in this room
sure hope the weather will break soon
the air is heavy, heavy as a truck
hope the rain will wash away our bad luck..." Electrical storm - U2

2002-11-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

Sexy Bond

Today was the premier of the 20th James Bond movie and there was no way in the world that I would miss such an important event. Yes, I am a crazy Bond fan, and I am not ashamed to admit it. The movie was like any other in the series, there was lots of action, sex, and of course sexy Pierce with his sly smile and martini in hand. You may be thinking that a movie like this is totally predictable, and yes, you are correct, but it does not take away from the humorous nature of these films. It is impossible not to be amused with all the sexual innuendoes through out the movie, the great stunts, and that killer smile. Oh, happy Brit… thou art so amazing. The only thing that distracted me from those amazing blue eyes was an annoying man sitting near by. This individual kept talking to himself, making stupid comments about this and that. I wanted to scream, but fortunately, for me, and him I was able to keep calm. All in all this was a wonderful movie, which I highly recommend.

2002-11-20T00:56:00.000-08:00

Have you ever?
Have you ever felt something and wished you had been brave enough to speak out in time. To have let the words flow out of your delicate mouth, to not be afraid to say what you wanted, what you desired most. Have you ever felt like time passed you by, that you should have told them what your heart said. If you had only done something different it would have made them feel special, maybe feel loved, but you stopped yourself for some reason or another. You didn’t allow yourself to love, to feel loved, you denied yourself the feeling that we all long for, you denied yourself happiness. Why do you deny yourself what you want? Why do you do this to yourself? Don’t you understand that this could cause substantial harm to your soul? Don’t you comprehend that you will suffer in the long run? That the bitterness could accumulate one day and consume you whole, that it could eat away at the fabric of your being. These are all possibilities, they could all happen, you need to understand this. If you don’t understand, if you don’t learn your lesson, then how will you ever change? Why do you do this, why are you writing this down? Why does it matter? When the thought “it is too late” crossed your mind. Have you ever?

2002-11-18T00:20:00.000-08:00

Lily of the valley (deux)

I hope you have the best birthday ever my precious! Happy Birthday! I will be thinking of you all day. Whenever you are down or sad, remember that someone who is an hour away loves you with all her heart.

Do you remember all the good times we had? I loved you when you were born, I cried when they threatened (jokingly) to take you away, and imagine I was only three years old. I disliked you when you began to speak because you got me in trouble with mommy, but you soon became my accomplice troublemaker, together trough thick and thin. I've got your back, you've got mine, that is how it is, how it was, and that is how it will be for the rest of time. So don’t you ever forget it my beloved.

Happy 19th Birthday LILIA

2002-11-18T00:08:00.000-08:00

Men

True facts about men!
1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
2. Woman don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason:you're sick of him.
4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.
5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.
7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.
8. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.
11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is
married.
12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.
13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them.
14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets.
15. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.
16. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop"..
17. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

2002-11-16T19:05:00.000-08:00

Masha ~ i.e. Lily of the valley
It took me two days to buy what went into a little box, two days of thinking of what would please you, what would make you smile. I tried to find beautiful things that would make your eyes light up, light up like stars when you are overflowing with glee. I wish I could have been there to see your beautiful face when you opened it. I wish I were there to give you a hug and a kiss on the forehead, to tell you how much you mean to me. Unfortunately, previous arrangements kept me from you, but that is all right because I have a feeling that you know how much I love you. I have a premonition that you know how much I care for you, that I would do anything in my power to make you happy, anything in my reach to watch you smile, to see you content. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and I wish you the best of luck on your exams my beloved.

Listening: Smooth - Santana & Rob Thomas

2002-11-13T19:29:00.000-08:00

Ouch
My back hurts… someone please put me out of my misery.

2002-11-12T02:25:00.000-08:00

Muse
I dreamt with you again, I dreamt you ran your fingers through my hair, that you drew me near and placed you lips over mine. I thought I felt your hands around my waist, I thought I was safe from harm in your arms, I thought so many things. As I stood in your warm embrace, I looked up at the sky and realized that it began to get darker. I saw how the sunlight that had been reflected in your eyes began to dim, like a star that had slowly burned out. I looked in your eyes again but there was something different, something changed, I felt cold despite the fact you held me near. I felt cold and alone, a feeling of despair overwhelmed my body, and I tried to find an explanation. But there are no explanations, are there? I awoke to find that there is nothing perfect, that there is no forever that I haven’t found you. I woke up to reality, realized it was a dream, and that all that I had felt had been out of my own desire to find him. I realized that you weren’t him, he who makes me smile, he who will never leave me. Who is he? The man with out a face, without a body, the man who hasn’t found me yet. The one you didn’t seem to measure up to, the one you didn’t know about, the one I want. We could call him my muse, the inspiration, he who provides the will to continue, to learn, to love. Dante had Beatrice, and I have you, but Dante had one advantage over me. He knew what she looked like, he lost her in life, but he knew that he would recognize her when he found her in heaven. I don’t know what you look like but I have been told that like Dante I too shall recognize that which I seek when I find it. I hope it’s true.

2002-11-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

And I said...

Sunday, dimanche, domingo.... Monday, lundi, lunes....etc. etc. And the days go on and on... ouch my head hurts. :(

2002-11-09T15:48:00.000-08:00

Trees and raindrops
It has been raining for the past two days, gray skies, and gray clouds that get lost in the horizon. A horizon that is no longer visible, something that disappeared because the lines, the details were to fine for the naked eye to see. Something so subtle so soft like the feeling of sadness that invades your soul without your permission. The tall and green trees that I saw from my bedroom window for the past two months, those in whose presence I would smile, those which saw me become obsessed with a dream. Those same trees stand outside now, their green color has not faded, and instead it seems to have turned greener. But it is not the same color, it is darker, gloomier, and in some ways sadder than what I remember. It is strange how the appearance of things changes when your mood changes.

2002-11-07T01:42:00.000-08:00

Nov. 18, 1983
Vodka, Absolute vodka, wine, beer, alcohol, whisky, etc. etc. etc. That does not sound like a good birthday present but I could be mistaken. Where has all the time gone, when you would be content with a fuzzy teddy bear or a nice doll? Remember the ‘Little Mermaid’ trading cards… doesn’t that sound like a better idea. How about I rent a stripper, oh wait that would be a bit scary even for me… never mind, a new Barbie doll, who cares if you are going to be 19…. Excuses, excuses, I am sure you will find a good one to convince me to buy you something else. :)

2002-11-05T00:22:00.000-08:00

Open Field
Sheep can’t fly but they can run away. Run sheep, run… running sheep across an open field.
I wish I could fly, I wish I was free, unrestrained by anything... let me go, I have legs and I know what their for, run away, run away....

2002-11-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

Memos etc.
I hate Mondays but I am sure most of you out there do too. I don’t like to get up early but it is not like anyone gives a damn, we all have to do it, so I suppose all I can do is complain. Reading, memos, more reading, and finals in December… ok now is a good time to jump off a cliff. Time to run away from all of my responsibilities. Ok fine, it was just an idea… I suppose I must deal with it, and continue, playing catch-up was always hard to do. Law school sucks ... someone shoot me now...please. Oh wait I don't want to die .... nevermind. :)

2002-11-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

TGIF
I couldn’t go home this weekend but that is ok, my mother decided to come and see me on Friday. It was a wonderful day, it really was great to see her, to talk to her about everything that was going on in my life. I feel that I can lose track of myself and I need her to bring me back, to find me when I am lost. We talked for hours after I put away all the things she brought me. Some groceries, and those black boots I like so much, she also brought me a pair of pants. I really am in need of new clothes since all of my old ones are too big for me now. I mean you know that your pants are too big when you can take them off without unbuttoning them. Oh well, I think I will wait a while more before I go on a crazy shopping spree, since I am afraid that I will spend money on clothes that won’t fit me in a few weeks. After a long chat, we went to dinner and discussed a wide variety of subjects including my fascination with being unhappy with my appearance. I asked her if I should cut my hair, she said, “Do whatever you want.” Yes the typical mommy answer, but I know if I cut it now I will be terribly unhappy when I see people with long hair passing me by. Oh god, what the hell is wrong with me, nothing seems to make me happy lately, I really need to find happiness within me, instead of outside of myself. Be happy with what I have, with who I am, and what I have accomplished. I need to look to the future and work to achieve the goals I have set for myself.

2002-10-27T21:35:00.000-08:00

Work
This week has been strange for many reasons, which I will not bother to discuss, but I feel much better, I’m glad that it is Sunday. In a few hours, it will be Monday; I have class, work to do, and things to keep my mind off things I shouldn’t think about. I would really like to go home this weekend, but I really don’t know if I will go yet, I have to get organized… so many things to do. I have to read so much, but I can do it, I have done it before, why should this time be different?

2002-10-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

Words
I’m so sorry for what I said, for the trouble I caused… for absolutely everything. I don’t like it when you are sad, worried, or concerned about something. I wish I could make it all disappear, but I can’t, and I hate myself for it. I have been sitting here looking at the phone, thinking about you, wanting to hear your voice. But it is too soon, I don’t know what to say, and I really don’t think that you are in the mood to hear anything I have to say. I hope all the trouble I cause is somehow resolved. :(

2002-10-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

Shhhhhh! Quiet don’t speak. Can you hear it? What do you mean you can’t hear it? It is the voices in your head. You know the ones that tell you what to do. The ones that won’t leave you alone... Some people call it a conscience; I call it the voices in your head. The ones that tell you to stop wasting time because you have to study, to clean you room, to plan in your mind all the things you have to do. Those get in the way when you want to do something naughty! Damn conscience! Can you imagine all the things we could do without it, but no it is always in the way. Don’t call him it’s not right, don’t kiss him, awww come on one kiss won’t hurt. And other naughty things that go through my mind. Yes, if you are smirking while you read this you know what I am talking about. Don’t you?

P.S To all those to whom I owe e-mails sorry I know I am terribly behind.

2002-10-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, god I can't spell and the archives don't work! God help me! My eyes hurt and they are going to fall out of my sockets - yes a bit dramatic but true. I hate the library it is a horrible place, after hours of sitting in one place, I felt I just wanted to die. However, life is not so bad especially when you receive voice messages on your cell phone! Thank you Lilia I love you too. What a wonderful little sister I have, I have been blessed, I should thank my lucky stars. :)

Always - Bonjovi
This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time ....

If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines ....

2002-10-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

Children are cute especially when you don’t have to deal with them. As I was attempting to concentrate, I could hear a baby in a nearby building, the damn baby was crying at the top of its lungs. I was wondering where its mother was; hoping and praying she would hurry and make him stop crying. The baby probably wanted a bottle or some attention… we all need attention. Need to concentrate, must focus; earplugs are a wonderful invention. Hurray for earplugs, no noise can penetrate your ears, no crying, no cars, nothing! Silence, how wonderful it is.

2002-10-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

Each time that I propose to myself to forget you, you come back, you make some sort of contact. I don’t know what to think of this, I wish I had the answers, but your are becoming something very special to me. For the past few weeks you have been creeping into my heart and mind, I don’t know how you did it. I have always been extremely defensive, building up walls around me trying to keep people out, trying to keep safe. The idea of you is intoxicating, your voice makes my heart skip a beat, my breathing accelerates, and I lose control. Do you have any idea what you are doing to me? Do you realize that you have turned my world upside down? I wish I could just tell you not to call anymore, to disappear from my life, but it’s too late. The damage has been done, and I’m sinking into this feeling more and more each day. It is like quick sand, I am trapped and I don’t know if I can escape. In reality, I don’t know if I want to escape.

2002-10-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

The flame waves from side to side with the wind that enters thought the open window. It moves as if it were dancing, to a music that I can’t hear, but it is impossible not to be captivated by its light. You look into the light and your imagination seems to run away with you. You go to a place in your mind where you are safe, you seek peace from the daily routine. You see something that you can’t seem to find anywhere else, you keep reaching for it, but it is like a mirage. When you have it in sight and you reach for the water it is nothing, it was a trick of your mind, it is only sand. You keep going, life keeps passing you by, thinking that someday you will find it. That you will find that peace that you seek, that something that will make you whole, that will make you feel. Oh how I wish I could find it, to find true happiness. Is it possible? Does it really exist? I don’t know if it does, maybe it is just an illusion that human beings have created to keep them going. Maybe it’s a dream, a mirage, an illusion, but if we stop looking, then what? What will we live for, what would life be without dreams, could we actually live without this idea? I really don’t think we could.

2002-10-14T23:34:00.000-07:00

My feet hurt! I am in desperate need of a back massage, and a foot rub. Last night I went somewhere to practice my new tango steps, I danced for three hours non-stop, and now my feet are killing me. I came back home, took off the wretched heels, and soaked my feet in some warm water. Today they still hurt; I think I will have to suffer for a few days, which will teach me a lesson for being so cruel to my feet. I had a good time, and I must admit that I learned a great deal. However, I doubt that I will have any desire to go out dancing in a while. My tango instructor is so cute, I love his accent, and he was wearing delicious cologne. If you are reading this Masha, stop having dirty thoughts you naughty girl!

On a side note, I just heard that the Mexican government has decided not to support the U.S. in its efforts and possible war against Iraq. The foreign minister has stated that the Mexican state and government believe that efforts should be made to resolve the conflict peacefully. The question that arises out of this news bite is whether this decision will adversely affect Mexican-U.S. bilateral relations. Who knows, only time will tell whether this bump in the road hurts any other negotiations, which may be important to the Mexican government, and its citizens.

2002-10-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

I see that I have not written here in a while, but don’t get me wrong, it is not that I did not want to write, it just seemed that there was nothing to share. The other day I woke up to a gray sky and very cold temperature, lately it seems that those are the only kinds of days that there are. I opened the blinds and I saw a black cat in the tree in front of my window, it was making noises, and it was looking right at me. It had abnormally large green eyes that seemed to see through me, truly weird experience. I have been thinking about my cat Moshe, I wish I could bring him here to live with me, but I can’t. I wonder if he even remembers me, probably not, stupid cat! My sister told me that she had seen the damn cat in a neighbors yard, allowing some girls to pet it. I like cats, but there is something about them that I just don’t swallow, cats are cheap; anyone who gives them attention wins them over. I could compare them to men, but I suppose that would be unfair, or not. Men and cats…. Dogs on the other hand will only become attached to their owner, they will create a special relationship. The animal will obey and be completely loyal only to its owner. Dogs and Men? Men have been known to be carrying and loyal creatures, however, that is only a minority of the species. Only my humble opinion, I haven’t met one that has changed my opinion, I’m still waiting.

2002-10-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

All done with exams for anyone who cares… Hurray! I think I will take a nap later in order to catch up on some sleep. The damn professor from hell came into class a few minutes late, as the students sat in their seats looking at each other nervously. How I hate exams, I stayed up last night memorizing laws and rules that I had to apply to a different case, a different fact pattern that I had never seen before. It was truly a traumatizing experience, since I was writing the entire time, and I thought my hand was about to freaking fall off. Fortunately, all is well, my eyes are tired, but my hand is still connected to the rest of my arm. I need to do something to distract me, I think I will go look for some ice cream, at least I think I still have some in the refrigerator. Until later, over and out!

2002-10-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

Today I had tango class but I did not go, I have to mucho work to do. I have to study and I really can’t get myself to do it. Everything is distracting me, the window, the lit candles next to my bed, music, the cars outside, the cold wind, and thoughts of him. Damn it, concentrate, you need to study! Ok I will. I have a test very soon, my first exam in law school, I think this exam is going to kill me, whatever shall I do. Well I refuse to miss my belly dancing class on Wednesday, plus I have to pick up the music and the hip scarf so I can practice.

2002-10-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today I had to go to my first belly-dancing lesson, first I could not find the place, and then I turned on the wrong street. Damn it! I was 10 minutes late! However, I did have a good time once I finally made it to my destination. I walked in and there were four other girls practicing already, I took off my shoes and my jacket and began learning. "Shake your hips"! Said the woman. Truly amusing - the trick to belly dancing is to teach your body to move specific muscles at specific times- must move your hips, and retain control of your upper body. All must be still except for a particular part, sometimes your hips, your head, you stomach, or any combination. We actually began to practice with veils today! Hurray for me! Or not whatever. I might actually invest in one of the hip scarves - they are beautiful, and they make noise and extra movement when you shimmy (i.e. shake your hips). This type of dance is definitely a workout - I think it will strengthen my abs and entire stomach. :)

Here are some pics of hip scarves:HIP SCARF. I like the ones with the coins and beads - I will most likely buy the one in black. :)

2002-09-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

Monday again how great it is to begin the week. Ok I was being sarcastic just in case you did not realize it. I had an opportunity to read the news paper today - not that it cheered me up or anything like that. The economy is doing badly, if Iraq does not cooreprate with the UN then there will be war, and other tid bits of bad news... Well at least I have belly dancing in two days - that aught to cheer me up for sure. I shall be back later to inform you of my most recent adventures. Ciao for now....

2002-09-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday, thank god it’s Friday, I am so excited, I really need to catch up on my sleep. Studying, eating, sleeping, what a boring life I lead. I may go to the movies this weekend, who knows? Oh well at least I have tango class on Sunday, that will definitely cheer up my day. Must take advantage of the opportunity to dress up and wear heels.

2002-09-25T00:39:00.000-07:00

I hate feeling like this, wondering what he is doing, where he is, wondering if he will call. Should I call? What if he is busy? Look what has happened to me! It is too late to do anything I have been affected by this terrible feeling, uncertainty, curiosity, excitement, sadness, and happiness at the same time. Someone shoot my now before it gets worse please, be kind and put me out of my misery!

2002-09-24T01:56:00.000-07:00

I really should be sleeping right now. Someone tell me why I’m listening to country and liking it? Whatever, I remember making fun of my best friend in high school about liking it; she was a big time fan. Then freshman year in college making friends with a die-hard fan of Garth Brooks, no I too am a fan; yes it is truly sad I know. Oh Tim McGraw you are so cute, yes and the man is happily married to Faith Hill, cutest country couple in the world I must admit.

“Yeah, and I like it, I love it, I want some more of it/
I try so hard/
I can't rise above it/
Don't know what it is 'bout that little gal's lovin’/
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it/….” Country

* Masha if you are reading this and twitching while doing it I am truly sorry but I am not inspired to write anything else. See ya!

2002-09-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting this blog, but I will make an effort to write here more often. This weekend was great, I was able to see my family, and spend some quality time with them. I went to Los Angeles to help Masha move into the dorms at UCLA. I was surprised that she did not take that much stuff, she was afraid that she would not have enough room, since her roommates took the bigger closets. Well after everything was in its place, we went to have something to eat. We drove around for a while until we found somewhere to park, something difficult to do in downtown Los Angeles. We found parking and then we went to “The Olive Garden.” We had delicious Italian food and some wine, while we talked about this and that. I had a glass of pinot noir, which was delicious! I have the feeling my family is beginning to think that I am an alcoholic, I'm not quite sure why? I don’t drink a lot, just occasionally, and I prefer wine to anything else. Whatever.

P.S. Masha I hope you fix the comments section on your blog- so I can leave comments, and that you write something new in there please. And pick whatever language you want – English or Spanish – whatever you prefer sweetie, screw the world!

2002-09-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt something so unsettling that it won’t let you think? Have you felt something so strong that you wish you could always be near that which arouses that feeling in you? Something that leaves you unable to do anything else, that you just want to think about something else but you are unable to. You put on your tennis shoes to go jogging a bit, at an insane time in the morning like 5 am. You go out and one block, turns into two, three, four, five, six, keep running but nothing happens, your mind is still concentrated on (?) I came back took a shower, and finished briefing some cases for the class next morning, after a night of absolutely no sleep. That day after class I slept like a baby, until this morning. I feel much better; I think I will go do some work.

2002-09-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

~Bonjour ~
It has been a long and boring weekend here, I am sure most of you had a much more exciting weekend than I. Alas, life is unfair, but nothing that anyone can do about it. Today is Mexican independence day, VIVA MEXICO! To make things even better, today I don’t have class because of Yom Kippur, I’m not Jewish, but for anyone who is, Shalom and good day to you.

2002-09-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

~THE RULES ~

1. Women ALWAYS make the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change without notice.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If a woman suspects that a man knows all the rules she must
immediately change some of the rules.

5. A woman is never wrong.

6. If it appears that a woman MAY be wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding caused by something a man did or said wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, a man must apologise to a woman immediately for
causing any misunderstanding.

8. A woman can change her mind at any time.

9. A man must never change his mind without express discussion with a
woman.

10. A woman has every right to be upset and angry at any time.

11. A man must remain calm at all times. unless a woman wants him to be
angry or upset.

12. A woman, must under no circumstances let a man know whether she
wants him to be angry or upset.

13. A man is expected to read the mind of a woman at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the female meant, not what
she said.

15. If a man doesn't abide by the rules, it is because he can't take the
heat, lacks back bone, and/or is a wimp.

16. If a woman has PMS, the rules are null and void and a male must
cater for her every whim.

17. Any attempt by a man to document the rules may result in bodily
harm, or at the very least, tears.

18. If a man, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to #5.
*source unknown

2002-09-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

~Democrats and Hegemons ~
Today after class, I decided to go to a meeting to join a club or school association on campus. I thought it would be a good way to meet people and network, when I arrived there was no one in the classroom, so I walked around for a bit. I was expecting to find a big number of people, and yeah of course maybe some guys, although another would be the story. I walked in and found about ten girls and one guy, yes interesting ratio, lucky guy or not. The club is focused on politics, and of course, partisan politics, it is called the campus democrats. We talked about the upcoming gubernatorial elections and our desire to become involved and help with local and state elections. How fun, I can just see my weekends passing me by as I walk around somewhere or try to convince someone to stop and register to vote. Oh yes what a life that would be. We are supposed to take advantage of this opportunity, meet local politicians, lawyers and judges, for future contacts. Well I might go to the next meeting I’m not sure yet.

I can’t believe that it is almost September 11th once again, how did I get here? I remember that on that date, I was at home, and when I woke up, everything was beginning. It was a few weeks before I began my senior year in college; the world was a wonderful place. Three years of being told that the there was no possibility that any country would dare to attack the U.S. the world’s hegemon, or super power. However, they had not considered terrorist groups. How can the world change so much in such a short period?

Note: The stupid weather pixie has terrible taste in clothes. Please don’t think that I chose her wardrobe, I am not responsible for its ugly clothes.

***"High, higher than the sun/ You shoot me from a gun/ I need you to elevate me here/ At the corner of your lips/ As the orbit of your hips/ Eclipse, you elevate my soul... [Elevation -U2]

2002-09-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

~Have your cake and eat it too~
I’m not the type of girl to be concerned with fashion magazines, to read horoscopes that inform me when I will find prince charming or anything like that. One could say that it is not my stile; I prefer to pick up a newspaper and inform myself on the changes in the world economy or political news. However, as I was at blockbuster picking up some movies for weekend entertainment, a magazine caught my eye. The magazine was Vanity Fair, and towards the bottom it said “New York’s All-Night, Girl-Power Sex Parties,” yes little titles like that can’t help but catch your eye. So I picked it up and paid for it, took it home, flipped through it, and found the article. It is about a club named CAKE, which is supposed to be “devoted to unleashing women’s sexuality.” The founders claim that CAKE has absolutely nothing to do with porn, which according to them is created and marketed to cater to men’s tastes and desires. So why is Cake different? Well CAKE caters to women’s desires and fantasies. New and improved entertainment for women professionals, well what a wonderful idea! Lap dances for women, wow what a concept, drinks, men, dancing, what else could you ask for. However, women are in control to do and say as they please, to ask for what ever their heart desires at the time. I think before I go to Paris I will have to make a quick stop to New York and find out what this CAKE business is all about. For all of you curious about my new discovery go to www.cakenyc.com -their credo is “an orgasm a day” – for women of course.

2002-09-04T23:49:00.000-07:00

Men and Money

If you’re looking for a single man with millions, please refer to Fortune magazines top 40 riches bachelors in America. Interesting list! I wouldn’t mind making their acquaintance, however, I am too busy with my homework to actually go out and look for them. But who knows I may have to go up to Silicon Valley during my free time and find myself an extremely wealthy man to pay for all of my loans. Yes, I am an indebted law student it is terribly sad. However, the way it is looking I may just have to pay those bills myself, and take myself to Paris as a treat.

2002-09-02T23:26:00.000-07:00

~Flying squirrel~
I am bored out of my mind! I have spent the entire weekend here inside this room; I am beginning to feel the walls close in on me. I am going insane. I have considered jumping out my apartment window, which is located on the second floor of the building, and trying to grab on to one of the branches. However, upon later consideration, I have decided that pretending that I am a flying squirrel will not help matters any. So I continue to study, these damn books are the size of encyclopedias, to make it worse I have too look up a number of words, which have different meaning, legal jargon sucks. I am going blind, one of these days I will be blind as a bat, and I will have to wear extremely thick and unflattering glasses. I recall that Masha wrote on several occasions Why she had to stay in school and get an education. I too have begun to question this greater goal, which I had held up in great regard. School, who needs it. I think I am going to run away to Lebanon and marry a Lebanese man, live in the middle east, have ten children, and raise camels. Oh wait, that sounds worse than having to read my dictionary sized books, never mind, I think I will go back to studying. Hope all is well in you part of the world, as for me well I have a great deal to read, and very little time.

2002-08-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

~ Sex and smoke, but not in that order...~

"The federal government recognizes 18 as the age at which a person becomes a legal adult. In California, an 18-year-old can drive, join the Army, vote for president, get married, procure loans, sign contracts and hold a job. But a person must be 21 to legally buy or possess alcohol...In the U.S., 23% of the population smokes. In California, 17% of the population does."
L.A. Times

There is a pending bill in the California legislature which is attempting to lower the age limit for people who can legally buy cigarettes. Why is this important you may be asking yourself? This is important because it makes us face the dilemma of what is more important, having the right to make your own choices (i.e. To smoke if you so desire), or to increase the age limit because the government does not consider 18 year olds mature enough to make the right choice? Yes, it is true that smoking can cause cancer and ultimately kill you, but what if you don't care and choose to smoke anyway? Should the government have the right to step in and deny you the right to do it, because it considers that its choice to forbid this action is in your overall interest? Making a law which increases the age limit is bad social policy, because it would be difficult to enforce. People always find ways to get around those pesky laws anyway, if people want to smoke, there is absolutely nothing the state government can do about it.

On a side note I am really busy, I have a ton of work and reading to do. Today I changed my schedule so I don't have to go to class in the afternoon, now I have to get to school early in the morning. Oh yes, I am so excited. Sleeping early, getting up early, yes life is so great. Or not! I had to exchange my books, because now I have new professors. I am still taking a class on contracts, one on torts, and another on legal skills. Today I saw a guy that I met at orientation, his name is Ian, he was commenting that he loved overalls. I asked why he loved them so much and if he owned any? He laughed and said that he loved overalls because he was fascinated by the idea that when you unbuckle the two buttons at the top, the overalls fall on the ground. Then I realized he did not talk about his fascination with overalls because he liked to wear them, but because he liked to take them off girls. Lol. How amusing. A friend of his laughed when he saw my face and excused themselves for their bluntness. I laughed and I said I did not have any problems with it. Then Ian said that they were blunt because they were Jewish. I just smiled. However, in my mind I was thinking whether he was blunt because he was Jewish or because he was a guy? I mean really guys are totally blunt when they are around other guys, some are blunt around girls too, some just have no shame and are blunt because they are men.... Excuses, excuses, obsessive sex adicts.

2002-08-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

~(ALCA) or FTAA ~

The Free Trade Agreement of the Americas is a process which began in 1994 in an attempt to unite all the economies in the Americas to great the largest free trade zone in existence, currently 34 countries are participating in this treaty. In theory the free trade zone is a wonderful idea, since it will allow for a better allocation of resources, and will continue the path of globalization. However, there are a number of problems with the process, the treaty, and the possible ramifications. For example the documents and negotiations are not open to the public, therefore there is a transparency issue, The business sector of each country has been active participants in the negotiations, while those that will be most adversely affected have been left out in the cold, (e.g. Labor). I agree with those who demand that labor rights and the environment should be protected, the fact that multinationals are extending their power and influence across borders is threatening to many countries, and interest groups within them who feel that they are loosing all autonomy. These are important factors that should be dealt with, however, many of those who are against globalization are a bit naive, because globalization has already overtaken our daily lives, it exists and it can't be pushed back, no matter how violently they protest. There are many benefits to globalization, among them economic efficiency, better prices for consumers, the creation of more jobs, the money transfers, and investments which are extremely beneficial to countries in Latin America. I support those who demand more transparency, the ability to participate in the negotiations process, and the protection of labor and the environment. But we must be aware that globalization is here to stay, no matter how much you may dislike it.

PRO: FTAA

CON: Stop FTAA

2002-08-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

This week has been a lot of fun, since my sister came to visit me. She is going to stay for the weekend so for this reason I may not post as much as I usually do. But do not be concerned, that is if anyone is actually reading this. Don't worry about me, I am having a blast. I am also thinking about taking dancing lessons, Tango, Flamenco, Salsa, or Belly Dancing? Anyone have any suggestions? Hope all is well in your part of the world.

Here is a really cool site I found a few days ago, I highly recomend it. So go now and check it out. Go, Go, Go, Allez, Allez, Allez .....
Traveling Russian Moles

2002-08-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

~Zipper ~
I had lecture today, and I must admit I met one of the funniest and interesting professors so far. He will be teaching torts this semester and he told us about a little inconvenience some time ago, and he wanted to share with the class. He wanted to break the ice and make us all feel much more comfortable. He told us that when he was a practicing attorney the zipper on his pants broke and he had to fix it, he asked someone for a needle and thread, and he went into an empty room to sew it. We all started laughing like crazy, it was a truly amusing story, I mean really what would a guy do when he had to be in trail in the court room in a little while and that happened to him? Well the man is an attorney and he also knows how to sew, truly cute.

2002-08-20T01:22:00.000-07:00

~ Healthy Balls ~
As I was studying this weekend, I heard the living room door slam. It was my roommate and her boyfriend. My roommate is a really nice 29 year old Korean woman, she is a third year law student, and she is supposed to graduate this year. Well anyway as I was saying, they began to argue in the living room, I mean you can tell it is an argument, even if you don't quite understand what they are saying. They were arguing in Korean, now I know what it feels when you are listening to a language you don't understand, it is extremely frustrating. All is well, they did not kill each other, at least I haven't seen her drag out any suspiciously large package or black bag. Who knows, well if the police question me, I will just have to inform them that I have no clue.

On to other more depressing news, today I was reviewing some notes before class, it was about three in the afternoon. Well as I sat on my bed flipping through the notes, the ground below me began to shake, the people in the apartment below seem to have been having some sort of party. OK maybe they weren't having a party, but they had techno music, and they had the volume terribly high. I wanted to scream out the window "PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN." However, instead I tried to calm down, and breath, you know count to ten or something like that. I even tried playing with my healthy balls (i.e. two silver balls that have ring like bells when they rub each other, they are some sort of Chinese relaxation devise). Anyway the point is that it did not work. A mental picture came into my mind, you know a type of sick fantasy where you hurt those who are constantly annoying you. Who knows, maybe I am the only one who gets some of those. Whatever.

2002-08-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

~Blah ~
Blah, blah, blah. Look isn't that interesting. Today is Sunday, had to do some reading for this week. Had to read a book with the following title: "The Anatomy of a lawsuit" - doesn't it sound absolutely fascinating. Or not. Lol. It was a really productive weekend, did lots of things I had to do. I wonder when I am going to get my printer? My family is supposed to send it. Oh well, hope they send it soon. Maybe they will even come visit me, that would be a wonderful surprise. Well that is all for today, I shall go now.

2002-08-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

It's midnight and I should be sleeping in preparation for a long and horrible day. Oh yes I am so excited to go to orientation, NOT! It is ok I will survive like I did previously. Ok I suppose I have nothing important to say today, so I shall come back on Saturday to make some insightful commentary on something or another. Ciao

2002-08-16T00:40:00.000-07:00

~Arms sales makes peace on earth a fading dream...~
International arms sales declined substantially last year to almost $26.4 billion compared with about $40 billion in 2000. It was the first decrease since 1997... American arms sales last year accounted for nearly 46% of all weapons sales. Russia was second with $5.8 billion and France third with $2.9 billion. USA TODAY

For anyone out there thinking that peace on earth is right around the corner, I am sad to announce that your optimistic dreams are just that, dreams. Despite the decrease in arms sales due to the international economic decline arms sales are still strong. The industrial countries are still busy arming themselves and developing countries to the teeth. And what a surprise that the US has been able to maintain its number one position in arms sales. However, the problem arises when countries like Russia sells important weapon technologies to rogue nations like Iraq and Iran. At a point when the US may be going to war with Iraq, Russia the newest American ally is making deals with Iraq for future arms sales. Russia has also been selling arms to China, which could result in a problem if China maintains its desire to regain jurisdictional control over Taiwan. The arms are flowing outwards like the life blood of world conflict, which threatens to destroy parts of the world. If arms sales are low now, what should we expect when the global economy recovers? More conflict, more death, and even more destruction...? The bad news continues.

2002-08-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

~Iraq - extension of the war on terror~
In what may be the opening battle of the war for Iraq, the Kurds are preparing to crush an Islamic fundamentalist group which has seized territory on the Iraqi-Iranian border and which some claim provides evidence of a link between Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. The Guardian

I really don't know if there is any real valid connection between Saddam Hussein and the mastermind of the attack on the twin towers on Sep. 11th, but there is no doubt in my mind that getting rid of Saddam will only benefit the world. He is a ruthless dictator who does not care about the well-being of the people in his country, his continued refusal to allow weapons inspectors into the country, and inspect his numerous palaces is extremely suspicious. We are all tired of waiting for him to make up his mind, to allow inspectors to go in, and his refusal to allow them to see anything. The only thing that I can think of is that he really has been busy creating biochemical weapons, if he does have them in his power, he is a threat to the international community not just the United States. If he does not have biochemical capabilities we should still overthrow him because he has proven in the past that he is not afraid to use deadly weapons against the people in his own country (i.e. The Kurds). If the ones that have the most to gain (the Kurds) join the effort, there is no doubt that Saddam will be defeated. However, it would be better if countries like Saudi Arabia and other countries in Europe supported American initiatives, although if they refuse to support the Bush on this decision no harm will be done. The United States is more than capable of doing such a task on its own, without its uncertain allies, and with some help from the inside, (i.e. Iraqi dissidents). If we are in luck this effort will be successful, and Saddam Hussain will be overthrown. That day will be a beautiful day!

2002-08-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

~ Colombian Tax Reform ~
The state of emergency is the sixth declared by the Colombian government in the past decade, the last coming seven years ago. But today's declaration was made at perhaps the gravest moment in Colombia's 38-year war, in which two Marxist-oriented guerrilla insurgencies are battling the U.S.-backed military and a privately funded paramilitary force that fights by its side. Last year, 3,500 people, most of them civilians, died as a direct result of the war.Washington Post

President Uribe has declared a state of emergency which may last for the period of nine months. He has also introduced important tax reform legislation which will allow the Colombian government to tax the wealthiest 1% of the country's population. The funds acquired will be used to continue the war against the paramilitary groups which have caused havoc in this South American country for the past 38 years. The resources will also be used to build the social and economic infrastructure which is in desperate need of repair (i.e. More social programs and economic development). This new tax reform victory is only the beginning of the long reform process that is necessary to get Colombia out of the turmoil in which it has been involved. President Uribe has the right attitude to deal with the situation, but he will only succeed if he has the support of the Colombian people in every single part of the country.

2002-08-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

~ Road to industrialization and Development? ~
Latin America's economic crisis has intellectual implications which extend far beyond that continent. It sounds the death-knell of "transitionology", the belief that by following a simple set of universal rules, countries all over the world can in a short space of time make the transition to democracy and the free market. - Financial Times

Another theory to development is proclaimed to be dead, the fact that the implementation of modernization plans, political reform, and foreign financial assistance, all of which have been proven ineffective, and unable to bring numerous countries into the industrialized world. There is no recipe to bring a nation wealth and development, and despite the fact that we are aware of some necessary ingredients, foreign governments are unable to implement them all. They maintain that there is no straight link between democracy and economic wealth and prosperity, more statistical models, more research, and we are left with no concrete information. But who knows what the future will bring, some of the countries which are categorized as third world today, may give us a few surprises in the future.

2002-08-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

~Colombia ~

Uribe, who survived an assassination attempt while campaigning in April, was elected in May largely on his promise to crack down on the rebels, who have terrorized the country with kidnappings and attacks in which civilians have often been killed. Uribe's father was killed by guerrillas in 1983.
Colombia's new president elect receives a violent and deadly welcome, it seems like Colombia's problems will never come to an end. A new president who has promised his willing public a better future, a country under the rule of law, and most of all security for all of its citizens. It will be a difficult task to accomplish, however, he has begun to ask for changes and reforms. Among his plans is to make Colombia's bicameral system into a unicameral government, he has also requested to be granted greater executive power in an attempt to gain control of the country. The outcome like always is uncertain, but what is certain is that more death and destruction will come before the Colombian people are able to enjoy a peaceful existence.

2002-08-08T16:23:00.000-07:00

~Last Night~
I can't sleep my eyes hurt and as I lay in bed I have a terrible feeling of uneasiness which has swept over me and won't leave me alone. I thought that if I got up and wrote something down that I might be able to calm down. I felt I couldn't breathe, something strange happens to me when I feel nervous, so we could say that it is a physical reaction to my mental preoccupation's. Four years away from home was hard enough, I really don't know what to tell her when she asks me if I am going to leave her again. I have absolutely nothing to say, she understands that I have to do it, but she doesn't or can't assimilate the fact that I am going to leave. One more year that will turn into three or four, I was so happy and so calm, but now that there is less than one week left I feel afraid. Today was a lot of fun because I got a new computer which I have decided to name Ezra, however for her it is only a reminder that I am going to leave in a few days. There is a sad look in her eyes and a deep pain, something I wish I could change with a smile or a kind word. I love my mother more than anything in this entire world, but there is nothing I can do, I mean I can't stay here forever. I wish there were something I could do to comfort her, to reassure her that I will be all right, but nothing I do or say helps this situation. She knew this day would come since June, but I guess we both tried to enjoy our time together and ignore the fact that August would come, and with it my departure. Why do I fell so insecure about everything, I am sure that a small feeling of insecurity is normal, but how much is too much? Orientation begins on the 17th of this month, I have to move in to my apartment at least two days before that date. Unfortunately, my sister will arrive one day before I have to leave, so we will not have an opportunity to spend a great deal of time together. So many words to express what I am feeling at this moment in time, it is too long to write down in one post. I need a visit from morpheous, sleep please come to me! I can hear the silly cats outside, the cold night breeze is coming through my bedroom window. My feet fell cold, I really don't know what else to write without sounding too silly and immature. The screen is blinking at me and my mind is not cooperating with me, I am at a total loss for words.

As we waited for the technicians to inspect my computer before they gave it to me at the store, I heard a song by Blink 182 - I don't remember the name at this time - "Nobody wants you when your 23" or something like that... I haven't posted in a few days from a lack of inspiration and a lack of time. I'm depressed, I suppose that is the overall feeling at this moment, whatever, I will try to amuse myself trying to figure out how Windows XP works... Shouldn't be too complicated.

2002-08-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

~The Russian Mob~
"It's a frightening thought: scar-faced Russian mobsters sipping vodka while debating whether a skater's turquoise sequined blouse clashes with his partner's mauve feathers and who should be paid off to help them win.

Interesting little article about the Olympic games in Salt Lake City, the columnist questions the possibility that the Russian mob could be involved in fixing figure skating competitions. The comic overtones are extremely amusing; I mean how could anyone think of such a perverse and silly plan. The Russian and French judges trading favors in order to make sure that their athletes obtained gold metals, in order to improve their countries reputation. Whatever, figure skating is not very entertaining; at least this little scandal will call more attention to the sport. Maybe next time people will pay attention, since figure skating has obtained a naughty reputation.

I remember my Art history teacher from high school; he used to tell us about his visits to Moscow. He used to tell us to watch out for nice cars, since mobsters were most likely driving them, I mean not everyone has enough money for a Mercedes in Russia. The Russian mob is supposed to be more powerful than the Russian government, who know President Putin might be able to gain some control, but only time will tell.

On a side note, Masha came home this weekend; we watched a few movies... “Black Hawk Down,” “Kate and Leopold,” and “the others.” Kate and Leopold is a romantic comedy, Meg Ryan and a cute British actor are the protagonists. British accents are so cute - yes, I know I have said that several times, but I thought I would reiterate it. :o)

2002-08-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

~News Paper ~
A few weeks ago, I was freaking out because I did not have a place to stay next year, too many apartments to choose from, but no sight of a roommate. I thought I would have to live in a box and cover myself up with newspaper jejje... but alas it will not come to that. I thought one box for myself and another for my computer... however, it would be difficult if it rains. Oh wait I have a car; I can live in my car... or not. Last week a girl called me and told me she was not looking for a roommate - but she gave me the reference of a woman who was renting a place. So I called up the woman and asked her about her place, she lives in a condominium somewhere, and she is looking for someone to share it with. So I thought it would be a wonderful idea, the rent was affordable, and the environment was quiet (perfect to study in). So today I drove up to look at the condominium, and I found a woman named Rose Mary, a very nice Italian woman with a silly little dog named destiny. I looked at her place, beautiful condominium, with Japanese art and furniture, and a very cute room, and my own bathroom. The pool only a few steps away, the place is scattered with ponds, and mini waterfalls. Well anyway - I left a deposit and told her that I was interested in moving in ASAP. Three long hours on the freeway later - I got home, and checked the messages on the answering machine. Surprises... there was a message from a girl looking for a roommate, however, I already have a place. Why the hell didn't she call a few days earlier?? Whatever, hopefully I will get along with Rose Mary - I hope this little old lady doesn't drive me crazy - well if she begins to do that, I could always hide in my room.

2002-08-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

~ Crazy drivers ~
I hate driving on the freeway – people are insane. They pass me by because I am driving 65 –70 mph, I mean really as if I was driving super slow. Some people are so irresponsible, they drive above 70mph in areas where the speed limit is below 65mph… I just don’t get it. Whatever, I will drive a little above the speed limit, but I do not take advantage of the situation (i.e. that everyone else is driving really fast so that I have the excuse to drive quickly too). I mean I want to be alive for a long period of time, and what better way to prolong my life span than by driving safely and carefully. My legs are hurt and I am tired, who would have thought that driving could be so exhausting? Well it is possible and I am truly tired, I should go to bed in order to recover from today’s ordeal.

2002-07-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

~ Mon Anniversaire ~
C’est mon anniversaire aujourd’hui ! It’s my birthday today ! Si, hoy cumplo 22 años que emocionante. I have no plans for today - but I am sure I shall think of something exciting to do on this special day. Well I have to go to sleep now - my bed is calling me- must go so I can get up in the morning. My sister Masha just called to wish me a happy birthday, what a wonderful little sister I have. Well as of today I am 22 years old and 15 minutes - one more year on this earth. One more day in this life - to live to the fullest, to see another sunset, another sunrise. To smile and enjoy every second of the rest of my life.

2002-07-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

~ Samedi soir ~
One more day... until what you may be asking yourself? Well look to the right side of this page and see if you can figure it out. I went to the movies yesterday to see Austin Powers, the movie was ok I suppose. I mean if you like something with sexual jokes every two seconds, puns, jokes, symbols, everything, and anything having to do with sex was made fun of in this movie. Whatever, I mean I was amused but too much of anything can be annoying, if you know what I mean. :o) I must depart since my younger sister has decided to make some sort of dessert and I have to make sure she doesn't burn down the kitchen.

2002-07-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

~ Palm trees ~
Driving under the moonlight with absolutely no destination. I see a small island of palm trees in the desert; I think it is more than fifty of them. I have never seen so many palm trees together; it looks like some sort of oasis in the middle of the desert. I just passed a street named Arabia – I wonder if this is what it fells like in that distant and mysterious place. It was very hot, but with the darkness comes the cool air, it is not as difficult to breath. I can feel the wind coming in through the car window; the wind is playing with my hair. The cool air feels delicious against my bare skin; I can feel my hair rubbing against my shoulders. Where am I going? I don’t really know, it is not important, what matters is that a sweet tranquility sweeps over me. I feel calm, my problems are gone, and there is nothing out there, only the road…

2002-07-24T00:26:00.000-07:00

::visit to the doctor::
I hate going to the doctor - but despite my feelings I had to go! I sat in the waiting room as the other patients filled out their paper work - forms and more forms about insurance - this and that. The majority of the people in there were elderly people - talking about life, their problems ..etc. There was a woman with an anklet with several little bells - and she kept moving her foot back and forth - it was extremely annoying - more annoying than actually listening to people chew gum really loudly... but alas I said nothing to the silly woman with the bells.

2002-07-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

:: title?::
THis week has been hell - trying to find an apartment and a roommate is a difficult task! But hopefully I shall know by Monday ... yes or no? Who knows... I have decided to name my car - yes it is silly but I decided to name my Ford Explorer -- Ariel -- isn't that a good name? Whatever -- I think that is a good name so that is what matters. I may go to the movies today - I haven't gone in a while.

2002-07-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

:: :o( ::
It is tusday again - hurray! Not. I did not sleep very well, I think I need an extra nap. Yestuday I was looking at the sunset - and I thought to myself "Have you ever seen something so glorious?" The sky was bathed in a number of beautiful colors, orange, pink, blue, and tints of violet.. the white clouds like balls of cotton, sprinkled over it... absolutely breathtaking

The American Taliban John Walker Lindh will only get a 20 years in prison because he confessed to being part of the Taliban... the Justice Department was running scared because they thought the evidence they compiled would not hold in a court of law - however, thank to his own confession and a deal struck between the two attorneys - he will only get 20 years. The government expects him to cooperate with the investigation - in hopes of taking preventive measures against other terrorist threats.

2002-07-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

::Question of the day::
How do I post pics on this blog? Why is it so damn hot here? Oh right - I think southern California has turned into hell! Someone turned up the heat without my permission.
:o(

2002-07-14T22:25:00.000-07:00

::France ~Le président Chirac échappe à une tentative d'assassinat::

As President Chirac sat on board a jeep during the annual military parade to celebrate Bastille Day, a young neo –nazi shot in an attempt to kill him. Maxime Brunerie, a 25-year-old man, confessed his plans to assassinate the president and then commit suicide. He planed to shoot him with a .22 caliber-hunting rifle – which he had hidden in a guitar case. It seemed like a scene from “Desperado” – when Antonio Banderas has a weapon –(I can’t remember if it was a gun or a rifle) in his guitar case and it out during the action scenes. Scary stuff… There was some speculation that this young man had some ties to the National Front (FN) – Marie Le Pen’s extreme right party. However, there is no evidence that such ties exist, the police believe that he acted alone in his assassination plot.

2002-07-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

::Summer::
I have not written in this blog for several days - something always seems to get in the way. I really don't know what to write at this moment in time- I am at home with Kadija and we are watching "The Bachelor" ... it is an interesting movie, about some guy in search of a bride in order to be able to get his hands on an inheritance...
Masha were are you? I heard that she has a Chemistry mid-term on monday - summer school must absolutely suck. I looked at my grades from my last quarter of college - and I am not disapointed with the outcome. I found out that I was on the dean's list my senior year- that is truly exciting. Not only that but I received an [A+] on my senior thesis for all three quarters that I worked on it {i.e the entire year}. Well that is all for now - I don't even know why I bother to write - it is no longer fun - plus it is not like anyone really cares about what I do or think. Whatever...

2002-07-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

::Russia::
Moscow is the most expensive city in Europe for those who want to maintain the cushy standard of living that they are accustomed to in the West, according to a new survey.
Why does it cost so much to live in Moscow? I would like to live in Madrid. However, all large metropolitan cities have drawbacks - especially in the U.S. New York was the site of the most terrible terrorist attack in American history - and Los Angeles a city much closer to where I live is full of smog.... Overcrowding, bad traffic, expensive rent, expensive consumer goods... etc. So do you really want to live in a large city?

Top 10 Most Expensive Cities
Rank City
2002
1 Hong Kong
2 Moscow
3 Tokyo
4 Beijing
5 Shanghai, China
6 Osaka, Japan
7 New York
8 St. Petersburg
9 Seoul, South Korea
10 London

2002-07-08T22:55:00.000-07:00

::Venezuela::
The Bush administration, which initially blamed Chavez for his own brief ouster on April 11, has watched with alarm as tensions again build in the third-largest oil supplier to the United States. A Bush administration official who follows developments here said there has been "intense [anti-government] activity" within the military, which played a decisive role in the April coup, and warned that unless Chavez and his mostly middle-class opposition begin a "meaningful national dialogue," more violence is likely.

What will the political outcome be? Will there be another violent outbreak? Is there any way that Chavez can be overthrown? How will U.S. interests in Venezuela affect the possible outcome?

2002-07-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

Masha in Los Angeles - interesting- I shall write more later...